laughable humans

So I just spent the last few days and nights in beyond gorgeous Guilin area. I took too many photos, as always. Once I purchased this digital camera I know I can crop and edit. This seems like I would take fewer pictures knowing I can alter the ones I do indeed take. However, the purchase if the camera has had the opposite effect and thus my computer's memory is being eaten much like the fruit in The Hungry Caterpillar.

My travel companions and I stayed 4 kilometers outside of the nearby town in a renovated farmhouse. It was brilliant because we were literally a few minutes’ walk from the river and had an un interrupted view of the limestone mountains that have made the area famous. They are the heart beat of the area and much resembles a pulse on a heart rate monitor. By night 3 we had all taken tons of pics of the surrounding beats and yet when me and another girl went for a late night walk, the scenery became a whole new creature.

The shades of black and grey had a bluish undertone. The stars were visible for the first time since I have left the States. The frogs filled the expanse with their croaking. I just had to laugh. As the mountains swelled with pride, mine shrunk. I felt like a true human, completely small and just one piece of His entire creation. As smart as we humans are we still cannot capture the awe and grandeur of the One and what He has made. We may make cameras and other various forms of recording devices but there is no way to capture all that was smelled, heard, sensed, felt, and seen on that short walk through the countryside of China. And for that I am truly grateful. It makes me appreciate the true value that this life has and the treasures that will only ever be held between my spirit and this feeble mind.

Fishy

If you have been following my facebook staus at all you would know there have been some rather important fish in my life recently. Here is the story, the whole story.

Sunday afternoon I called my neighbor to let her know I was home if she wanted to go play badminton. She informed me that she, her husband, and two teachers from our school were out fishing and they were having a very successful time of it. They had already caught over 30 fish. She asked if I would want any. I thought to myself, sure I can cook a fish! A few hours later she knocked on my door. To my utter shock she had a huge back sack FULL of living flopping fish. She instructed me to go get a basin. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the cleaner looking one of the two that I own. ) They came with the house and I have no idea what they were used for.) She reached into her sack and pulled out three fish she thought were appropriate, each about 7 inches in length. Two were the same kind but one was a little wider and more diamond shaped than fish shaped. She told me to put some water in the basin and to feed the fish. I was in such a state of shock I forgot to ask her what on earth I was supposed to feed them, obviously not fish food. I thanked her and tried to hide my horror. Back home when someone goes fishing and asks if you want some they usually gut it for you. Not only were mine not gutted, they were still ALIVE!!

I carried my basin to the bathroom and set it down and filled it with water. One fish was causing problems. He was thrashing about. I decided to leave them in the bathroom because it is completely tiled and the easiest place to clean, therefore it is really the cleanest room in my house.

Because it was Sunday night I was expecting Tony, my neighbor and one of my students, for tutoring that night. He came over shortly after I sorted out the fish. I had forgotten it was his birthday! During the lesson the fish were thrashing about. Tony was so frightened. "What is that?!?” he squealed. I showed him the fish and he was rather pleased. Every time they splashed he would say, "teacher, your fish are moving". After our lesson he invited me over to have some cake. Of course I had to go. While at his home his mother came out of the kitchen with a very large dead fish on a plate. He asked if I wanted it. I said no because I already had three in my home but my answer was ignored. The fish was transferred to a plastic grocery bag and placed on the coffee table until I left. I took the dead fish, went home and placed it in my fridge. Before bed I went to check on the fish in the bathroom. One had died, the diamond looking one. I texted one of my Chinese friends and asked if he had experience killing and cooking fish. He said yes so I asked if he would help me.

The next day I took a shower with the fish still in their basin still in my bathroom. That was a whole new experience by itself.

That afternoon my friend came over at lunch to show me how to deal with my problem. He cooked the large dead fish that had already been gutted. I was kinda sad. I wanted him to "handle" one of the other ones. It was delicious but I still felt ill prepared for what lie ahead. That evening I transferred the fish from the bathroom into the kitchen. As I was laying in bed that night I heard the fish thrashing about and then I heard the sound of slapping on the tile floor. I jumped out of bed and found one the fish had jumped out of the basin. Oh brother! In the morning I tried to change their water but as I was dumping out the water in to the kitchen sink they both slipped out and went in the sink. The feisty one went bananas. He took off a few scales in the drain plug. I got them both back in to the basin with fresh water but they looked like they’d been in a fight. After my afternoon classes I came home and found the other one laying on the kitchen floor. He was still breathing but I had no idea how long he had been out of water. That night I met up with some other Chinese friends. One of them is obsessed with food. He has made fish for me before so i thought I could entice him to come over and cook dinner for me if I provided live fish. He was thrilled but wouldn't be able to come over until Thursday night. My task was to keep them alive until then. It was only Monday...

The fish that had died the previous night was unlucky. I just tossed him away. I couldn't deal with it. That night the fatter of the two died so he went in the fridge as well. That afternoon, Tuesday, I decided to be brave and do this thing. Hannah the butcher. I sharpened my cleaver and tried to remember what everyone had told me. I de-scaled and gutted that baby. I didn't even gag once! the de-scaling took WAY longer than I was thinking it would. Inside the fish I found all kinds of new and interesting things. he floating device was by far the most interesting though. I knew God was a genius, but this was truly amazing! I put the fillet I had created into the fridge and then I was off for the day.

Wednesday afternoon I cooked my fillet and ate him for lunch. It was kinda cool eating something that had entered my house alive. I’d like to think that he had died from natural causes, trauma being one of them. The second fish didn't make it through the afternoon either. There was NO way I was going to be Hannah the butcher two days in a row and my friend wouldn't have cooked the fish if he knew it died on Wednesday afternoon. "Not fresh!" he was sure to yell at me. So the fish with the most fight was just tossed out. It was kind of sad to see him go that way, but then again, he was just a fish.

Faces

Tonight I had one of my students, Tony, over to my house for his weekly tutoring. Last week I failed to remember it was his birthday. I felt terrible so I promised to make it up to him with one cookie (he says he is a little fat so he can only eat one), an easy lesson, and a few minutes watching the Harry Potter 4 (his favorite series but he has no time to watch movies so he has only seen 1-3). I delivered on none of these tonight.

I didn't know at the time of my promise that he would be having an English exam this coming Thursday. Nor did I realize that the one cookie mix I brought calls for a stick of butter, a commodity that is available to me in this town. The Chinese school system is all about exam performance. I thought our time would be better spent reviewing for the exam because he did not do very well on the last one. I mean his parents aren't paying me for nothing right, so my pride is a little on the line here too. I thought maybe we could breeze through the review and still be able to watch part of the film. I was wrong. It took more than the usual hour to get through the review I had arranged. He even brought up the cookie for the word "give". "Teacher, you will give me one of these things, remember"? So I had to deliver something. I had searched all the drawers and cupboards for my American candy stashes. All I had left was a partial box of Reeses pieces, un-crystallized sugar coated chunks of ginger from TJ's, and a few sour patch kids. Oh boy, I failed big time here!

After the lesson I busted out my findings and told him I was sorry about the cookies but I had these candies (or sugars as they say here) from America and that I wanted him to try them. First he tried the Reeses pieces which he thought was chocolate. I showed him a container of peanut butter from China so he would understand what it was. Next he popped a chunk of ginger into his mouth. He doubled over, spit it out into his hand and screamed, "what is this??” I died laughing. I went into the kitchen to grab some raw ginger to show him what it was. When I returned I found slowly trying to suck down small pieces. I just laughed and told him he didn't have to eat it and went to get him some tissue so he could discard it. Next I asked him if he liked sour things. He said "I little like". So he picked up a sour patch kid and shoved it into his mouth. Again his face went bananas as his noise wrinkled and his eyes went into extreme defensive squint. This time he managed to suck all the sour coating off and then I think he enjoyed the gummy afterwards.

I made him eat a few more Reeses just to end on a positive note even though he protested saying he was too fat and couldn't eat any more. Poor kid. He was a half hour late to the lesson tonight and I don't think he had eaten supper before he came. I hit him during the lesson, worked him harder than I ever have before, gave him two terrible tasting candies, didn't let him watch a video, and didn't deliver on the cookies. He left happy though because I showed him that I had bought the film and told him we would watch it someday. Oh Tony, I hope he at least does well on his exam this week.

PD

If P. Dick thinks the clothes washing method in India is severe, he has never come head to head with a Chinese washing machine. These things will shred, stretch and maim! Usually they target your most prized processions: the scarf your sister gave as a going away present, the only bra that truly fits and is comfortable, the warmest socks you brought, or the only jeans that stay at your waist. Not to mention the machine doesn’t truly clean anything. The cycle is maybe a whole 30 minutes, most of which is a whirling dervish of spin cycles that are so violent it often unplugs itself. All of these wouldn’t be so bad if this country had dryers. They would mitigate the stretching and even burn off some of the filth. If you want something machine dried, you have to go to Thailand. Hug your machines and darn it, use the different settings! Go crazy. Use that hot water and switch it up, use the delicate cycle even.

I will build a bridge with badminton!!

Today I was rushing out of my apartment a little after 5pm. I realized I had forgotten to go to the store earlier to purchase items for my supper. The students usually get out of school at around 5:40 and it is always mass chaos at that time. I wanted to beat the crowd. As I ran across the school yard I saw that the headteacher from class 106 was playing badminton. I shouted hello and he waived me over. Oh boy. His English is hilarious because he always uses the wrong words. At least he tries right. He decided I would play him. I have only played badminton maybe twice in my life both at a teen. This was probably going to be hilarious. Then again if you have ever watched a Chinese person who was not on an Olympic team play any sort of sport you begin to feel you have a shot at beating them in anything.

I took my position after explaining I am horrible at badminton (I mean who really plays it anyway right?). We had a go and I brushed up on my serving. After a few volleys, in which I did hold my own, he passed his racket off to a women. We played for quite some time and it was enjoyable I have to admit. I made far more noise than she did. Then our headmaster came out onto the field. He is a very likable friendly sort of man, until you go head to head at badminton. He did kick my butt. He kept doing those fancy tennis moves like pretend you and gonna slam it then just tap it over the net. And I thought I was competitive. Another headmaster (this one is just over the English teachers and is always trying to intimidate me) came over and was also watching me make a fool of myself. Someone suggested he should play me but he refused. I think he was scared. The racket was then passed again. Did it occur to anyone besides me that I just played for people without a rest. And they wondered why I was so winded.

SO today was great. I built bridges through badminton!

On Importance

Today I sat in bed feeling wimpy,and mulling over this idea of importance. How does American importance differ from that of the Chinese? Also, how does it differ within ones society and even family?

In America it seems most people want to find an important job. But what jobs are truly important? Often I believe people get a job that sounds important i.e., makes you a lot of money. We have so tied making money with being important. I mean truly, movie stars make a ton of money but how important is their job. Instead of challenging people to think and imagine for themselves, movies allow us to escape and let someone else do all the thinking for us. Unless of course it is a great movie that gets your brain functioning. Although, I can’t say that I have watched one of those lately. (Perhaps I am underestimating the importance of escape.)

Importance is most often subjective, much to my dismay. I spent a year studying microfinance and believing that it was important. Other students in my class studied beer pong. Like I said, importance is subjective. If you sound important people leave you alone for the most part and admire you. You feel good about yourself.

Now I have a job which I rather laughed at before moving here and felt like it wasn’t really a great job, at least not my lifetime goal. Now I am having a whole new thought about it. Perhaps it is my own way of making my time here feel important. My job is not really about entertaining a mass of 7th & 8th graders, but it is truly a diplomatic feat. Most of these kids don’t have too much money which means they don’t travel. Our town is very small by Chinese standards and I may be the only white person some of them meet, at least for now. Who cares right? They are just punk kids and what I say won’t really change their view of anything. With any luck they have watched at least one English movie or TV show and that in and of itself concerns me.

What I find extremely interesting is that “children are our future”. If we, myself and the other foreign teachers, get this right we may be able to change some perceptions. We also interface with many of these kids parents. The wealthier (mainly government officials) ones want us to tutor their children and take us out for fancy meals. What a great opportunity right.

Now back to the States. Within my own family there are what feel like degrees of important. Some of my uncles have “important jobs” while others just have jobs. Granted they all provide for their families so in that sense they are all important. However, when I look at my own family I believe that many of my aunts have the most important jobs. Many of them stayed home and raised their children. All of the cousins are grown enough now that this is no longer necessary. I believe two of my aunts, in particular, have highly important jobs. One is a middle school teacher and one works in a state university but she is not a professor. She too “manages” students. I think they are both amazing and their jobs are truly important. They are shaping and guiding the minds and behaviors of the ones who will surpass us.

I didn’t move to China with any of this in mind, remember I just came because I had something else opening up. Perhaps I am just trying to justify my time here as important. I am not naïve enough to believe that my one year here will make some dramatic diplomatic impact in the next twenty years, but wouldn’t that be nice.

How to catch a cockroach

About three days ago there was a cockroach in the closet. He managed to escape as I was fumbling around trying to choose the correct weapon of destruction. He was rather large and I did not want to smear him all over the place. Once a pest has escaped, what are your options? I decided to check my bed every night in case he had crawled under my covers. I poked about here and there for a bit but with no luck.

It is very cold in my house so I almost have a hot drink of some kind. Many times it gets left on my desk. I guess I hadn’t finished a cup of cocoa and when I came home this afternoon I decided to dump it out and start fresh. Well, my long lost pest was floating in my cocoa. That put me off the idea of enjoying some chocolate and also of using that mug.

So, if you ever need to catch a cockroach, leave out a cup of cocoa. They can’t resist!